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I am excusing myself from studying again, OH Lord, forgive me! No, what I probably should say is, OH Aletta, please forgive me….
Some things gone OK, some things were just not. As the last time I said to my flatmate, if half of the things are going as scheduled, then I should be satisfied enough, ‘cause that is probably the most you can get. There were many things going on this week, so where should I start? The good news or the bad one? Well, probably there were no good or bad in them, rather just things that have happened.
OK, first things first. I just discovered that I am, again, a failure in love. Fine, it was a one-side infatuation, I admit. Benedict Cumberbatch, oh, my latest obsession! He is just so charming and is a brilliant actor. Like other British actors who I fancy, he is not an attracted-by-the-first-sight kind of guy, rather the kind that you have to get closer to know the charm of him. Gee, I anticipating this feeling will continue to exist and bothering me for a while. Second thing, I found the long trench coat I like and brought it under impulse today. Well, cannot blame me (although I think I am the one who are solely responsible for the whole action), the 25% discount is just too un-resistible! However, it looked so stylish and…posh (?!), I wonder when I will actually wear it out.
Third thing, I got a tennis partner! Ya! Her name is Alice, and we met on the tennis session for beginningers. She is the first British that I actually building a friendship with, I think. It is unbelievable and I do wonder how our partnership will go. I mean, there is always awkward silent moments between our conversations, and I always felt funny and strange about how our chats can even extend in first place! They are just so…cannot think of a proper word to describe them and that is the main problem. I like her, she is friendly and causal. Anyway, I will try my best.
Ok, now, back to serious matters, the life of a PhD. Umm, no comments, end of the story. Alright, it is almost like that. It is a complex feeling, loving it and annoyed by it in turn. For the past month, I was tried to set a pace, or a tone, for this new stage. And, not surprising, the outcome was not very successful. I had let my desires took over my reason, most of the time, which was not a good sign at all. Gees, I AM weak! Nevertheless, at least the meeting with my supervisor this Wednesday had helped me to solve some problems. After confirmation, I have three courses to attend (all hail to the IDA!), one presentation and two essays to write this year. Apart from these, two board meetings, June defence, and regular meetings with Aletta are also on my schedule. Oh, God, ‘grant me the courage to change the things I can’. Face it and fight it, they are all I need to do, and just pray for the rest. Amen.
The other thing keeps bothering me is finding a part-time job. It is harder than I thought. What did I do wrong? Cannot write an attractive self-introduction and CV, or just not qualified? Or, go a bit extreme, because I am not a British? I do not know; maybe I just need to fix every variable one by one. God, the constant worrying is killing me!
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On the Stage (2)
